Satire: New to Ames, the Creature of the Black Lagoon ready to make Lake LaVerne his new home


Testing the waters after being displaced from his old home, The Creature of the Black Lagoon is settling into the infested waters of Lake LaVerne.

Drew Simon

Any pedestrian of Ames during the last year has noticed the subtle but increasingly alarming change in Lake LaVerne. Its color, algae growth and overall aesthetic appeal have taken an undeniable nosedive and the University being suspiciously silent about the entire situation isn’t helping students’ and locals’ hopes either. Today however, it seems their questions have been answered. A news article published today announces that Lake Laverne is being sold to Hollywood Superstar, the Creature of The Black Lagoon. 


The beloved Iowa State landmark was actually put on sale, unannounced to anyone in the community, last year as a fundraising effort to finish the renovation of Jack Trice Stadium. Originally put on sale with the stipulation that everything would remain unchanged, negotiations eventually led Lake LaVerne to where it is today, a perfect nesting spot for the slimmest and most grotesque creatures on this planet. However, since no one from Iowa City could afford the monthly rent it eventually sold to the next highest bidder, the Creature of The Black Lagoon. 


The Creature is scheduled to move in on Oct. 31, but due to his unbridled fame, the fence company that worked on the Wintersteen Manor has been contracted to keep his privacy. The path around Lake Lav=Verne will be closed for two weeks due to construction and all drunk fraternity “men” seeking a souvenir can expect traffic cones around the site for an additional two weeks. 


Overall, the algae growth and toxic landfill aesthetic may not be what we used to picture when we would think of Lake LaVerne but as the campus changes it’s always helpful to remember, all great changes are preceded by chaos.