Satire: It’s time to defund the Iowa State Daily and start our own platform



It’s protest time everyone. Grab your tiki torches and let’s go defund the Daily.

Omar Waheed

The Daily has become too powerful.


Recently, the Student Government proposed a bill that would defund the Daily through not granting 1/3rd of their funding and force a renegotiation of their contract. Unfortunately, this was struck down, and I strongly encourage the Student Government to reconsider.


The Daily operates in complete mystery through not giving access to their financial records for anyone to look at. They claim it’s because they are a private company not owned by the university that operates solely for informing the public on Iowa State, I pin it on a gross mishandling of finances and rampant corruption.


Their “tireless and thankless” work, as Daily staff puts it, is a disgrace to the Iowa State community by not allowing “controversial” or “inflammatory” articles in their liberal think tank.


At that, I propose a new solution: start our own news platform operated by students for students to compete with the Daily.


You may be thinking, “Isn’t that exactly what the Daily is?”


No. The Daily is a shadowy organization made to propagate the liberal media agenda through reporting on strongly selected and curated news through a rigorous process. What’s that process? Why won’t they answer my emails?


The new platform will be called “The Daily Dialer,” since we could not get copyright permissions to launch our own chapter of “The Daily Caller.”


In the new platform, we will operate a community website where any student can write. The university would be able to hire a website administrator who can ensure the stories are put up in a timely manner. This would allow any student interested in writing an article on news and topics they believe are the most important to be done freely outside of the shackles of normal news media.