Spoiler-free review –
“Last night, at 2:17 a.m., every child from Mrs. Gandy’s class woke up, got out of bed, went downstairs, opened the front door, walked into the dark… and they never came back.”
An amazing hook if I’ve ever seen one, a hook filled with possibilities and mystery. Written and directed by Zach Cregger, the writer and director of “Barbarian,” one of my favorite horror movies of 2022, I really wanted to love this movie.
Unfortunately, “Weapons” fails to deliver on the most integral part of any good thriller movie: a threatening antagonist, and in doing so, the real-world themes it invokes.
“Weapons” is a weird movie to review because it’s not a “bad” movie per se, but rather a disappointing one. The first half of the movie is phenomenal.
Julia Garner as Mrs. Gandy carried it with some of the best acting I’ve seen this year. She really is the standout of the movie. The movie also has genuine craft behind it, with some fascinating sequences that only deepen your curiosity and investment in the disappearance of these kids.
Which leads me to the second half. The central mystery revolves around a whimper rather than a bang, so when it’s revealed, the movie feels like it’s treading water instead of diving deeper. The threat, once revealed, isn’t visceral or intimidating enough to garner a response of fear and urgency.
I admittedly was excited for “Weapons,” but where “Barbarian” doubled down on its more volatile tendencies, “Weapons” was too timid to be terrifying.
“Weapons” left me with one question: was the journey worth it? No, “Weapons” left me disappointed and frustrated by the missed potential. It was similar to watching “Longlegs.”
Where the ending of “Longlegs” worked in the context of the story, it failed to give the sense of dread necessary for the message to come across.
The ending of “Weapons” technically makes sense, but given the obvious parallels it draws to real-world tragedy, it feels like an injustice to have a movie this tame and at times comedic.
“Weapons” is a movie too timid to acknowledge the darkness embedded in the real-world tragedies it’s trying to comment on. Because of that, it fails to feel urgent and menacing in a way that it needs to be.
5/10
