In this together: I don’t know


in this together


Editor’s note: This piece is a part of ‘In This Together,’ which seeks to raise awareness about the complex issues of sexual violence. We asked the Iowa State community to share perspectives in various mediums as survivors, bystanders and allies. The initiative is a partnership between the Iowa State Daily, Green Dot and the Margaret Sloss Women’s Center. 

I don’t know 

When I was in my freshman year I met a guy at a party with some friends. We started talking over Facebook and we agreed to hang out at his place. We watched a movie and truthfully I wanted to do some stuff, but when he started touching me I got really uncomfortable because it was clear he wanted to do stuff I was not comfortable with. I pulled away and said I wasn’t down to do anything. As I moved for the door he forced me away and forced me on top of him attempting to unbuckle my pants. I was able to pull myself away and made it more clear I wasn’t comfortable. He took the hint and stopped and let me grab my shoes and left immediately. He texted me the next day apologizing for being so aggressive and said he understood if I didn’t want to see him again. I said I was okay and didn’t care. To this day I am not sure if and to what extent it affects me. I am not even sure I would call what happened sexual assault. I think it might have to do with the fact that I am a male survivor or something. I don’t know. I have never really talked about it with anyone because I didn’t feel like it counted as sexual assault. I don’t know.