Satire: Frat shut down for hazing dogs in “bring your dog to class day” at Iowa State

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COURTESY OF UNSPLASH

A good boy subjected to unspeakable horrors synonymous with frat life, this dog has since been rescued.

Omar Waheed

In a somewhat expected turn of events and yet still shocking, an Iowa State frat was shut down for hazing dogs on “bring your dog to class” day.

 

With scores of loveable friends needlessly made to do things like being paddled and not being told they’re good boys, these dogs were recklessly cared for by the frat.

 

“I saw one of these dogs and I didn’t recognize him as one of my brothers,” a member of the frat said. “I asked the dogs ‘Sup bro. Who do you know here?’ since he wasn’t a member. Then he gave me those puppy dog eyes and I knew we had to recruit them.”

 

After trying to recruit the new fluffy members, the frat put through them an impromptu “hell week” since all new recruits need to go through the full initiation to become a full-fledged brother.

 

“I don’t know how we’re going to get dues from them,” the frat member continued. “I don’t think dogs can work like that or if they even go to school here.”

 

Regardless of how they intended to get dues, the frat has since been shut down after one dog wearing a hat and carrying a brick in their bag was found passed out from exhaustion outside of the frat house.