Editor’s Note: This is a satirical opinion piece. The names of people mentioned and their quotes are completely fictional. The situation this story is based on is also fictional.

Local Iowa State student Dan Wilson is in cold water with his friends after accidentally stocking up a trunkful of O’Doul’s Non-Alcoholic Beer for his friends’ spring break trip to Panama City Beach, Florida.

In February, Wilson turned 21 years old, making him officially old enough to purchase alcohol in Iowa. Wanting to play his part in preparing for the trip, he offered to purchase all the alcohol before they leave.

“I went to Hy-Vee’s Wine & Spirits section and just grabbed the cheapest beer I could find,” Wilson explained. “I never thought to double check if it had alcohol or not.”

After finding O’Doul’s to be the cheapest, Wilson says he bought enough to fill the trunk of his Honda Civic to the brim.

Wilson says his friends were unpleasantly surprised when they got to Panama City Beach earlier this week and opened the trunk. One friend, Patrick Tillman, said, “I thought it was a prank at first, but nope! Dan legitimately bought 300 bottles of non-alcoholic beer.”

In the car ride down to Florida, Wilson recalls Tillman saying numerous times that they “don’t need alcohol to have fun.” Still, Tillman told The Daily that after discovering the O’Doul’s, he generally lost faith in an enjoyable vacation.

Despite the fact that they are renting a recently renovated, luxurious condo on the beach, the friends say they have just been sitting on the couch and playing solitaire all week due to their lack of alcohol. Tillman said he wishes he could experience the college spring break he had expected, following in the footsteps of folks who had alcohol earlier this month.

The latest update from the group says they are considering going home a few days early. Tillman explained, “at least back home, I’ve got a cold PBR in the fridge.”