Satire: Engineering student hits career high and career low all in one day



Hoping to find a job, engineering students at Iowa State awkwardly attempt to socialize in attempts at securing a stepping stone in their careers

Eli Lindsey

We’ve all had days where we feel on top of the world, only to be brought crumbling down by an avalanche of emotional pain. An engineering student here at Iowa State felt this in the harshest of manners over the last week. 


The man, who wished to stay anonymous, was really feeling himself after scoring a highly coveted internship at the career fair. 


“I woke up that morning feeling on top of my game. The pep talk my mom wrote me when I came to college really paid off in the mirror and I knew it would be a lucky day when I got to the dining hall for breakfast and they were serving leftover spaghetti. I love spaghetti for breakfast” the student said.


This confidence would be short lived, much like the confidence of most engineers. On the way home from the career fair he took a bus back to Friley only to get stuck on a CyRide with touch handles.


“When It was my stop and I went to the exit doors I was so confused, I just assumed the sensor had stopped working,” the student continued. “I was standing there so long trying to figure it out the driver left the stop and I just stayed on for a long time, well forever actually.”


The bus would return to headquarters for the night before the student had to finally set his pride aside and admit to the driver he had no idea how the touch handle doors operated. 


“Yeah it got to a point where it was just too much. I started unbuttoning my pants to go pee in the trash bucket when I thought man, this is too low. I have to save what’s left of my pride.” 


The student was safely returned to his dorm at Friley only to look at his email and realize he had been on the bus so long he missed his new internship orientation and was already fired before it even began, proving once and for all that you may know advanced calculus and have a degree in literal rocket science, but none of that actually matters.