In this together: A sexual assault awareness series

Graphic by Peter Lemken/Iowa State Daily

in this together

Isd Staff
April 3, 2017

‘I am there with you’: A first-person experience of dealing with sexual assault

I didn’t consider myself a victim of sexual assault until my perpetrator texted me.

“I guess I want to start off by apologizing,” her message said. “I want you to know that I NEVER meant to make you feel pressured or uncomfortable.”

Until I got her text, my experience felt like a story I was telling myself.

She was my close friend. She was the friend of my friends. She was a reliable member of our shared community, known to be kind, to be funny, to be loyal.

I trusted her.

Separating gray: Different types of abuses

Although there may be an emphasis on sexual assault, other types of abuse are certainly not going unnoticed.

Counselors and professionals across the nation, including some at Iowa State, have laid the groundwork of the differences and similarities between predominant types of abuse.

Lorraine Acker, director of the Margaret Sloss Women’s Center, described what an act of violence is.

“If you’re trying to prevent something from leaving their space, if you’re trying to control someone, that’s an act of violence,” Acker said.

Story County SART team: Always there, always ready

As distant as it appeared on television, Mia Mayland never considered it possible to be a victim of sexual assault.

A consistent crime in shows like “Law and Order” — a favorite with the senior in child and family services — Mayland’s reality soon became just like the characters seen on the silver screen.

“We had been dating for a bit but broke up, and I didn’t like the way we had ended things,” Mayland, senior in child, adult and family services, said. “We were in Helser Hall together hanging out and drinking a bit. […] I eventually went to my room and he came with, and that’s where he sexually assaulted me.”

Mayland described the feeling after the assault as “freezing,” in that she felt numb to the world and those around her. Sitting with her best friend, Mayland sat for hours contemplating her options as well as trying to make sense of the occurrence.

It was with the support of her friends at Iowa State that Mayland eventually went to see the Assault Care Center Extending Shelter and Support, ACCESS, and finding helpful resources within nearly a dozen individual agencies that make up the Story County Sexual Assault Response Team (SART).

Finding a middle ground, sexual education in public schools

‘Having the talk’ is an age-old euphemism for learning about sexual health typically from their parents or teachers.

Despite the occasional awkwardness, some educators such as Amy Popilion, senior lecturer in human development and family studies, believes that there should be lots of talks, not just ‘a talk’ in isolation.

Sexual education has a history of being very controversial, a fight between comprehensive sex education (CSE) and sexual risk avoidance (SRA)-based education.

Today, this battle ensues, the question being which one is more beneficial to teach teens about sex and how to be safe while participating in sexual encounters.

Communication key when seeking consent

Imagine you’re at a stoplight.

Red light means you stop. Green light means you go.

The same rings true with consent, which is why Green Light: Go! was created to raise awareness of consent and sexual assault based off a variation on the game Red Light, Green Light.

The game, which originated through the fraternity Zeta Beta Tau, has spread across college campuses around the nation, and hopes to “ignite a conversation on campus that can really make a difference.”

In sexual acts or not, consent is the act of agreeing or not agreeing to anything that would affect someone else.

ROTC, greek community share similar ideas in sexual assault awareness

Connections between the Greek community and the ROTC programs at Iowa State may seem hard to find at first, but the steps each take toward sexual assault awareness and prevention unite the two groups.

Both push education as one of the most crucial steps in preventing sexual assault and promoting awareness for the issue.

For the ROTC programs, much of their education on the topic stems from the participation in bystander intervention training. Each branch of ROTC — Air Force, Navy and Army — has multiple required sessions students must attend each academic year.

They also have a larger-scope sexual assault program, which — as another part of bystander intervention training — focuses on education about consent.

In this together: Overcoming barriers

It happened the summer before her freshman year of college.

Brittany Pernell was at a party hosted by her ex-boyfriend. They had broken up months before and hadn’t spoken since, but her friends wanted to go. They urged her to come along and clear the air so they all could have a good time.

Pernell agreed but on one condition: she had to be drunk.

“I had never drank before, so in turn, I’d never been drunk before,” Pernell said. “On our way to the party I was drinking. When we got to the party I was drinking. I remember everything when we got to the party. I remember the layout of the house and the people who were there and whatnot. And of course he was there.”

When they arrived, she spoke with him. As the night went on, Pernell said she became sloppy and belligerent. Other partygoers told Pernell’s ex to “get her” as it became clear she was drinking too much.

“I don’t know why his interpretation was ‘get her and take her to a bedroom,’” Pernell said.

Beyond this point, Pernell can’t remember what happened. She was too drunk. But when her friend returned to the party from a booze run, no one could tell her where Pernell was. She searched bedroom after bedroom until she came upon a locked door. Behind it was Pernell and her ex.

Understanding Iowa’s, home state’s sexual harassment laws

As with many criminal acts, the aspects of sexual harassment may be confusing to understand for people with little to no background in legal jargon. One of the most important things to know is that it can take place anywhere, including at college and the workplace.

In this together: Understanding a complex climate

A quick Google search on campus sexual assault and one might see the roots it’s planted in each college community. Sexual assault is not exempt from Ivy League schools, nor is it exempt from state institutions. Even community colleges are waging a battle against this form of violence.

At Iowa State, the campus climate survey discovered that for penetration by incapacitation, 53.2 percent of females did not think the incident was serious enough to report. 28.9 percent felt ashamed or embarrassed and 24.3 percent did not want the person to get into trouble. 16.4 percent felt nothing would be done.

Of that number, according to RAINN, only 20 percent of female student victims, age 18 to 24, report to law enforcement. And even out of the college environment only 32 percent of non-student females the same age report to law enforcement.

These numbers help back a sentiment that is felt by some presidents at American universities.

Campaigns against sexual assault used across college campuses

Several Iowa State organizations are pushing to end sexual assault and raise awareness to the issue through nationwide campaigns dubbed It’s on Us and Start By Believing.

Student Government and the Iowa State Police Department, among other groups, are involved with the It’s On Us campaign. This movement is used and supported by college campuses across the country.

April 2 to April 8 is the It’s On Us Week of Action, where supporters of the movement raise awareness around campuses.

The cultural movement began on Sept. 19, 2014, to change the way society views sexual assault. The movement focuses on involving society as a whole to take action against forms of sexual assault and taking responsibility to prevent it.