One of the great things about attending Iowa State is that even though the state is cut off from the rest of the world by a hopeless case of landlock, we have the pleasure of learning from a vast array of teachers from different places.

We have all had at least one professor or teaching aide who, while trying to get us to grasp the material being presented, were themselves attempting to grasp the English language.

Perhaps they already knew English; it was simply a case of an astonishingly strong accent from a foreign land, that left us staring at our blank notebooks not knowing what to write down.

At the beginning of this semester, I came close to a panic attack when I realized that I was in for one heck of a boring term. My classes were being taught by a bunch of plain speaking, understand-every-word Americans.

Where is the challenge in that?

I was saved, however, when my buddy, Adam, and I decided to undertake Exercise 166 to add an additional credit to our already weak tally. It was on the first day of class when our weight-training instructor opened his mouth that we realized we were in for some humorous lifting sessions.

Andrew Keech introduced himself as “ONDRUUU KATESCH”, on that first day. Fresh off the boat from Australia, Andrew had only been in America for a few days before class began. This was obvious, noting that his accent was thicker than seaweed soup.

I am still not exactly sure what was said that first day. I’m pretty sure the syllabus was discussed, and he may have said something about “no worries,” but other than that I am clueless.

As the semester has progressed, Adam and I have become quite fond of our friend from down under.

We earned quality bonus points right from the start by offering to give Andrew a ride after class across campus.

It is during these rides that we have become rather proficient in Aussie speak.

Since Adam drives, he had the honor of being called a “legend,” while I had to settle for a title less grand.

The highlight of these trips across campus is when Andrew tells of his weekend escapades with members of the ISU rugby team.

From what I have gathered, it throws quite a party, while the girls who attend them are “whores.” Apparently American females are a bit more friendly than their Australian counterparts.

Occasionally, we actually do some lifting, and to his credit, Andrew has gathered the class together a few times to teach us about periodization, or some other muscle reference better spent on people not trying to pick up an easy credit.

On one such day, when actual lifting was being attempted, Adam and I were at the end of a long set of dips. I was approaching my final rep, while Adam verbally pumped me up from the side.

I was determined to overcome my fatigued muscles and finish the set, and I believe I would have, if not for that Australian accent suddenly in my ear, informing me of what he had done with my mother the night before.

On another day, when Adam and I were again not lifting, Andrew found us hiding in a corner of the weight room and told us this story.

“Me and my mates were driving up the coast one day when we decided to stop in at a crocodile farm.

“They had this croc named Gregory. He was like 300 years old, and EIGHT METERS LONG.

“Anyway, this place let you sit on the back of Gregory and get your picture taken. Apparently he was too old to move, so it was safe.

“Well, me and my mates start daring each other to hop on this croc’s back.

“Finally some of us agree to do it, so I get on, but I’m real tentative about it. I’m sitting there with my arms ready to defend myself for when he snaps at me.

“He doesn’t do a thing! He just sits there! Anyhow, nothing happens and we leave.

“About a month later. I pick up the local paper and I’m flipping through it when I see an article about a crocodile attack.

“IT WAS GREGORY! HE’D RIPPED SOME GUY’S ARM OFF. THE SAME FRICKING CROC! I couldn’t believe it.”

Now as the semester winds down, Adam and I find it sad to know that we will soon be without the company of our own crocodile hunter.

Andrew Keech has been a weight-room inspiration to us. So much so, that Adam and I are thinking about taking a golf class in the spring. Andrew will teach that, as well. If only a couple spots would open up. Crikey!

Marcus Charter is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Ames.