Frozen pizza is one of the world’s greatest inventions. A pizza that could be popped in the oven and ready to eat in 12 to 15 minutes was the only meal that could be prepared when my mom was working late. Even Dad could handle baking these failure-proof pizzas. And as a child I had the choice of pepperoni, sausage or cheese for a little variety.

The only things that come ahead of frozen pizza in my personal list of greatest inventions are the remote control and La-Z-Boy recliners.

Frozen pizza has a common bond with these great inventions – laziness.

Being lazy is as American as apple pie. It’s the reason why a U.S. citizen can order any kind of food for delivery, and in some cities can have groceries arrive at his or her front door. (I’m still waiting for this in Ames.)

Now it seems the U.S. Department of Agriculture has also gotten lazy. The department is getting tired of regulating frozen pizza.

Under pressure from pizza makers, the governmental agency is looking at abandoning its frozen pizza standards.

The Agriculture Department’s regulations say a meat pizza must have crust, cheese, tomato-based sauce and at least 10 to 12 percent meat by weight in order to be classified as a meat pizza.

One reason why Kraft and other pizza producers are fighting these rules is because they say the regulations prevent them from lowering the fat content of the frozen pieces.

But frozen pizza is not a part of a trim diet and really doesn’t fit into the food pyramid we learned about in third grade health class.

For example, one slice of DiGiorno three-meat pizza has 8 grams of saturated fat, which is 40 percent of the recommended daily limit.

I hate to break it to Kraft, but most people who eat frozen pizzas aren’t too worried about fat content. These are the same people who grab a sausage muffin for breakfast and binge on a cheeseburger for lunch.

Frozen food producers say the rules stop the pizza makers from freezing new kinds of pizza. By removing the rules, Kraft said a pepperoni pizza could have less than 2 percent meat on alfredo sauce topped with goat cheese.

But who would want to eat that?

Pizza regulation supporters say that the companies are more concerned with increasing pizza profits by getting rid of meat standards than with the chubby bellies of pizza fans.

Frozen pizza officials denied these critical statements saying consumers won’t buy a product that doesn’t taste good.

Again, they are right. Pizza eaters, which are mainly made up of college students, want food that tastes good.

This means keeping the fat and losing the goat cheese.

And if a hungry person is looking for something ethnic and new, their first thought is not to heat up a frozen pizza.

So at this point, you may be thinking, why should I care?

One of the jobs of the USDA is to set regulations on food. It’s the reason products have food labels. It’s the department that oversees the standards for “low fat” and other possibly deceiving labeling.

So if the USDA removes all regulations on the standards for frozen pizza, what’s next?

Deregulation of beef burritos that contain no actual beef? McDonald’s McNuggets with less than 51 percent chicken parts?

The USDA needs to keep the frozen pizza standards. It’s what we all grew up with. It’s what we all know. If I want to eat an unhealthy, fattening frozen pizza, I at least want to know it’s safe.

Michelle Kann is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Garnavillo. She is the newsroom managing editor.