The holidays can be one of the happiest times of the year for students, but for some, the festive days are filled with sadness.”The holidays come with high expectations,” said Mark Becker, graduate student in psychology and counselor at ISU Student Counseling Services. “They are supposed to be a wonderful, happy time, and it can be a letdown if they aren’t.”These feelings, sometimes called “holiday depression,” can stem from a number of things, said Carolyn Cutrona, professor of psychology. Change is one factor that can lead to holiday depression, she said. “If one has experienced a change in their life, this can lead to sadness, blues and nostalgia,” she said.Cutrona said the change could be the death of a parent or family member or a divorce, even if it is not recent.”The holidays are traditionally times to gather with special people,” she said. “If [loved ones] are not there, it’s very obvious.”Another area of change college students experience is the realization that they have “grown up,” Cutrona said. “The old holiday rituals and excitement from the past aren’t there anymore,” she said. “There is a longing for people and for the warmth of the past. This is even more intense if there has been a loss.”Another reason students may feel blue around the holidays is stress, Becker said. “Students are under a lot of pressure during the holidays with spending money on presents, studying for finals, traveling home and readjusting to their family,” he said. “They should give themselves credit for what they are feeling. They need to take time for themselves and be realistic about things.”Holiday depression also can result from being away from loved ones, Cutrona said. Many foreign students cannot afford to be with their families during the holidays and can be especially lonely.For those who are alone during the holidays, Cutrona urged them to schedule their day. “If you are inactive, it is an invitation for brooding,” she said.Preparing a special meal, renting a favorite movie or exercising are all ways to make the day more bearable, Cutrona said.”Keep telling yourself that it is just another day — it is only 24 hours,” she said.One thing that may help ease holiday sadness for those away from their families is participating in dinners and programs put on by area churches, she said.First Christian Church, 611 Clark Ave., will host a dinner on Christmas Day for “anyone who wants to come,” said Diane McGinley, coordinator of the program. The dinner will be served from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., and those in need of the ride can call the church office, McGinley said.If there has been a death of someone close, the holidays are a wonderful time to remember him or her and can be a “healing experience,” Cutrona said. “Don’t pretend you don’t miss them. Bring up memories and share them,” she said.

If students feel overwhelmed by the holidays, Becker said it could help to talk to someone.”[The holidays] don’t have to be a perfect experience,” he said. “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it a perfect event.”