Plan for catching a Tiger: First, make special rule book

Jeremy Gustafson

He’s done it. Tiger Woods has won every major title in the PGA tour, and he is only 24.

The question now: What is next for Tiger?

He has won the career grand slam in golf, and it took him two fewer years than it took Jack Nicklaus, the man once considered to be the greatest ever.

Now the title of best ever rests with Tiger, but what will he do with it?

There are still several records for him to set his sights on.

Nicklaus won 18 major titles.

This record was once as untouchable as 60 home runs in a season.

Andro-free, Tiger makes this record look reachable, as he has already won four majors since 1997.

Plus these days, it seems like any Tom, Dick and Harry who picks up a bat can hit 60 homers.

Of course, he needs to defend his titles, but that doesn’t seem too farfetched considering he won the British Open by eight strokes.

But when will it all become boring for Tiger?

Winning can get old, and although most golfers would give anything to be consistently as good as Woods, it isn’t inconceivable that he will tire of dominating.

Then what?

He could always retire and play professional baseball like a certain other athlete who was the best in his sport.

You probably wouldn’t hear any complaints from David Duval, an incredible golfer in his own right, swallowed up in Tiger’s giant shadow.

So the task now is to find a way to make golf a challenge for Tiger Woods.

The PGA should propose new rules that apply only to Tiger, to bring the drama back into golf since he has absolutely dominated three of the four majors he has won.

How did Sergio Garcia stay within one stroke of Woods at last year’s PGA Championship anyway?

For instance, Tiger could start out at 10 over par. This way he would at least have to try in the last round.

He would have finished nine under par with these rules at the British Open, and poor Ernie Els would have had a chance to win, since he has finished second in the past three major tournaments.

Not bad, but like the Buffalo Bills of the early ’90s, second place doesn’t get a lot of credit, just the money. Maybe he could be in a Snickers commercial like Bruce Smith.

Another way to keep Tiger in check would be to make the out of bounds rules a little more strict for him.

Say by some strange chance Woods isn’t on the fairway after a drive, it counts as out of bounds and adds a stroke to his score. This still probably wouldn’t be enough to keep him close to the rest of the field.

Maybe the PGA could count sand traps as out of bounds for Woods.

After all some traps at the British Open humiliated the world’s best, especially the “Road Bunker” on hole 17. Poor Duval looked, well, awful trying to get out of the trap, it took him four shots.

Woods, on the other hand, didn’t land in one trap the whole tournament.

That kind of accuracy is usually unheard of, even for pros. But there is always a chance he could land in a trap once, maybe twice next time.

If it counts as out of bounds, hey, maybe someone will be within five strokes.

Yet another way to make Tiger look human would be to make par four holes into par threes for him.

He consistently drove the greens at the British Open on par fours.

They seemed like sure birdies whenever he stepped in the tee box.

The PGA could always make him play with fewer clubs than everyone else, even then odds would be that Tiger could win by three or four strokes.

But making golf hard for Woods would be a big task.

After all, the man went more than 62 holes in major tournaments without a bogey.

That would be hard on the PlayStation for normal people.

Not that anyone should be angry with Tiger.

His game is a thing of beauty and should be admired by anyone who cares for golf.

The rules aren’t going to change, and it isn’t Woods’ fault that he is so good.

Just sit back and watch, and when he sets his next record or wins his next major, remember that everyone else, from the worst golfer to the second best, wishes that he or she were Tiger Woods.

Jeremy Gustafson is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Ogden.