ISU Barbie, let’s go party

Kyle Moss

Now that we’ve ventured into 2000 and things are changing all the time, there comes a time for certain entities that have been a part of pop culture for a long time to change also, just to be sure they are still hip with the times.

Just hitting the scene in the world of popular culture is a new line of Barbie dolls. You may remember back in the day when certain music groups were popular such as Michael Jackson, Vanilla Ice and New Kids On the Block, and you could pick up their dolls at any toy store.

Now that 2000 has brought crazes of new music, alternative culture and of course, political correctness, Barbie has jumped on the bandwagon and created a doll to satisfy the tastes of almost everyone.

Barbie herself has been upgraded to a wannabe actress who comes with a camera, a scrapbook, a photo backdrop and other stuff. But her new friends are the cool ones.

There’s Nichelle the aspiring model with braid extensions and tons of makeup. Tori the snowboard chick has a board, a matching outfit and a trophy. Lara the artist has her sketchboard and pad, frames and an art box.

Mari the technology lover comes with a cell phone, headphones, video game player and, of course, a karaoke player. Chelsie is the musician who comes with drumsticks, a tambourine and a flute.

But the one lucky guy in all of Barbie land is Blaine the DJ, who comes complete with a whole turntable console, a flashy shirt, records, sunglasses and a party pass.

So now Barbie and her new friends can enjoy all that 2000 has to offer and thrive with the best of them in their chosen careers.

But as I was browsing the Web site to read about this stuff, I began thinking of a way Iowa State could liven up it’s popularity. What better way to market our school’s coolness than to make an Iowa State line of Barbies?

Let’s start with the most obvious and what would be the best seller, the Jischke Barbie.

This good-looking doll would come with riot gear protection (to keep all those pesky freshman protesters away during Veishea), a membership card to Bankers Trust and an access card that can be used to raise the cost of room and board any time he wants.

The next Barbie would have to be the Veishea Barbie. Complete with a can of non-alcoholic beer, a yellow security jacket and a golf cart with a little bell on the front.

There could be an Iowa State Daily Barbie, that comes with a spell-checking machine, an anti-Tribune T-shirt and mug shots of Greg Jerrett and Ben Godar.

How about the frat guy Barbie? Maybe give this guy a white hat, a mug to hang from his belt and a fleece vest. Or we could do a sorority girl Barbie, but I guess it’s been done before: hot chick with a nice car. I’ve had that Barbie since I was a kid.

These are just a few ideas. If you get a few moments during dead week, try and think of some ideas on your own, make yourself laugh. All we can do now is hope that someone creates these dolls, and Iowa State becomes a little bit cooler.


Kyle Moss is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. He is an assistant arts and entertainment editor of the Daily.