I just finished the last of my spring midterms, which means one thing: I’m tired. OK, it means two things. It also means that spring break is so close I can practically smell the beach.

There are worse things to could smell, you know. Try smelling Iowa on a warm day while standing anywhere near a farm and/or large, grazing animals.

In just one short week, half of the people reading this will be basking on the sand of some warm beach infested with college kids from around the country.

The other half will be working a 40-hour work week while they plot the deaths of those people in scenario No. 1.

Yes, plotting of deaths does actually take place if you are one of the unfortunate people forced to live spring break through MTV.

I have been there. After three or four days of watching Jerry Springer do a talk show on the beach of somewhere like Cancun, evil thoughts like that do tend to creep into your brain.

But don’t worry. If you are stuck at home this spring break, there is plenty of fun to be had!

There are plenty of things you could do in Iowa, or any other state that is not necessarily a big spring break hot spot, that will make all your newly tanned friends jealous when they get back from a week of beaches and bar hopping.

For example, you could take this time to get caught up on all your class reading. I know at first this may not seem like a knee-slapping good time.

Honestly, though, what spells FUN better than, let’s say, chromosome D-N-A?

After reading all about the structure of life’s DNA and how it works, you could move on to how genetic engineering actually works and what supplies are needed.

You could then proceed to begin to construct some of your own animals using various parts from other animals. That has got to be worth at least a couple of extra credit points.

This idea could be used for subjects other than really hard science classes.

There are also really hard math classes. Most people have seen “Good Will Hunting.” What you need to do is go find yourself one of those unsolvable math equations and then just go solve it. It is that simple.

If genetic engineering or math equations aren’t your style, maybe you could take the extra time you have during next week to start a new hobby.

I am not just talking about any old hobby like stamp collecting and bird watching, however.

I am talking about something new and creative that no one else has really ever thought of before. Something that is more like a freakish, untapped, hidden talent.

You need a talent that could not only serve as a hobby, but also would be a neat party trick to wow and impress friends and family.

How about something like memorizing every single word to every single song that is played on every single radio station and television music station?

Even that new Bloodhound Gang song where they are dressed like monkeys. If every single radio and TV station seems like a bit too much for a new hobby, you could concentrate on a couple of specific ones instead.

Imagine the looks on the faces of all your friends and fellow classmates when, at the first party after spring break, you sing, word for word, Dr. Dre’s “Forgot About Dre,” followed by Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie,” followed with Nsync’s “Bye Bye Bye” and ending with Celine Dion’s “That’s the Way it Is.” Won’t that just freak everyone out?

Maybe you would prefer to spend your week off in a quieter, more relaxed kind of way. If that is the case, then what you need is a little good, old-fashioned meditation.

Meditation can be very good for a person’s mental health. It can make you feel replenished and ready for another half semester of classes.

I meditate at least once a day, usually late at night and preferably for eight or more hours.

Now some people like to call this sleep but I like to think it is much more than that. I like to think it goes much deeper than just sleep. I like to call it “unconscious relaxation.”

What ever it is, I know that without it, I am not a happy camper.

Those are just a couple of suggestions for a fun-filled spring break week at home.

If you choose the right activity, you will soon forget that you were left here in the arctic while your classmates and teachers left for warmer climates.

Don’t expect to see me doing any of that crap, though. I’m actually going somewhere this year. See you in two weeks.

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Jenny Joanning is a junior in journalism and mass communications from Norwalk.