Why should YOU use the Cash to Card machines to do laundry?

Well, the sign in the laundry room says:

“No more hassles with change — no more empty change machines with blinking red lights — no more lugging quarters around by the pound — no more wet clothes because your change is gone.”

And the list goes on and on, about change anyway.

It makes sense, or should I say cents. I hate change as much as the next guy, but lately I have begun to hate the Cash to Card machines even more.

It seems like these suckers never, ever work, at least not when I am doing my laundry. And when I am finally doing my laundry, it is when that pair of jeans has been worn for the last time, when I am down to my swimming suit for underwear, when I don’t even have a pair of clean sweats. Basically, it is when I really, really, really need to do laundry (by the way, I was kidding about the swimsuit thing, really I was, it was just for effect).

For awhile, I thought that it was some force far more powerful than I punishing me for being such a procrastinator. Then my senses took over, and I realized that this is a serious problem.

What is the deal? Why are these machines such pieces of crap?

Well, it turns out that they have never had this much use. Before they were merely Cash to Card machines; now they are Cash to Card Laundry- style, which happens to be a pretty big change.

With the higher usage, jammed bills and other things have just worn these machines (and the guys fixing them) out.

They cannot handle the pressure of crazed college students jamming dollar bills in them like they were strippers.

So the only way to help the situation is to toughen these babies up. Make it so they can handle a bunch of bills here and there. We need to bring these machines up to the big leagues — and fast.

If the toughening up thing does not work out, there are other alternatives. Maybe, if it is at all possible, the residence halls could bring back the change along with the Cash to Card machines. With two possibilities, crappie though they may be, one will most likely be working while the other is not.

Keep in mind, there will probably be the rare occurrence of neither one working, but at least it will be rare.

So, in the meantime, what is a laundry-ridden student to do? If these machines cannot be counted on, then I and everyone else who launders their clothes will be in some serious trouble, hence the last pair of jeans — not the swimsuit because that was a joke.

Well, the wrong thing to do is to kick or hit these machines. I have seen people who just flip out and try to beat these things to death. I have wanted to, but I know that kicking will not do the trick.

These are not television sets. No amount of beating will help. In fact, the beatings have to be wearing them down even more.

Rather than turning to violence, anyone who has problems should call 1-800-530-5726. I do not know from personal experience, but I have heard that this is quite a wait.

Still, there has to be a better way. Laundry is enough of a pain, without having to deal with the C to C machines’ out of order tendencies. Something has to be done to rid everyone of this horrible situation. So, let’s practice a little give and take.

If everyone stops beating the hell out of these things, then the Residence Halls need to fix them … for good! Or give another, equally good solution. Then, everyone will be happy.

Come on kids, are we or are we not the school of science and technology (emphasis on the technology)? We can fix a little laundry problem, can’t we?

---

Jessica Bittner is a freshman in journalism and mass communication from Council Bluffs.