Time to get High with the Daily

Corey Moss

When the Daily publication board approved a new Arts & Entertainment section a few months back, my creative psyche instantly turned into a game show — Name That Section.

Of course, this was no regular game show. There was no Wink Martindale. No Vanna. Not even prize money.

The only reward was to hear those good looking girls I somehow always end up sitting behind in class turn to each other and say “High Note … wow, I like that. This Moss Pit guy sure is clever.”

This game show was like none other, well, except for maybe Hollywood Squares. Remember how Joan Rivers and Boy George and whoever else would always answer with a joke and then give their serious answer? Well, that’s how my mind tends to work.

So, here are a few of my joke answers: “The Cat in the Blender.” “Horton Hires a Ho.” “One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch.” “The Grinch’s Ten Inches.”

Oh wait, wrong titles. Those are the rejected Dr. Suess Books I read about in my new favorite zine — Pop Smear.

Now, for the real Name That Section joke answers: Ice Ice Daily. Read That Funky Daily, White Boy. Extremely Daily. New Daily On The Rack. And of course, Daily Spice.

(This is the part where Shadow Stevens leads the crowd into an uproar of laughter.)

OK, now the serious answers: Allegro.

Now, I know at first glance it looks like some sort of freaky cross between Viagra and a hair-removal product, but to the more musically inclined person, allegro actually has deep meaning.

(Actually, I had never heard the word in my life until I opened up a music terms dictionary a few weeks ago. As you can tell, I didn’t get too far.)

I don’t remember the exact definition of allegro, but it is basically the section of a song where the piano player totally starts whaling. I like it because this is the section of the Daily where we totally start whaling.

Take, for instance, the profiles on the movers and shakers in Ames, where can you read all about the only college student with a bigger CD collection than me (Dave Gugliotta), the only man with more junior high girls asking him out than me (Dark Knight) and the only man with more fraternity guys wanting to kick his ass than me (Scott Andresen).

Now, that’s whaling.

Second name suggestion: Noise.

This was actually the leading candidate until SPIN came out with its redesign last month and coincidentally renamed their News section Noise.

I say coincidentally because my office at VIBE this summer was a few floors down from those unoriginal, Jesse-cover-story-writing, Spin bastards.

Next thing you know, Vanilla Ice will be on their cover. (Hopefully, with his foot up Jesse’s leotard-wearing ass.)

Final name suggestion: High Note.

Not to be confused with High Times — I want to make that clear right off the bat. If I wanted a name with a drug reference I would have asked Ben Jones for ideas.

I like High Note because one, it has a musical connotation; two, this section will hopefully be the High Note of your week and if not, the weekends should be the High Note of your college career; and three, my dad thought of it and he’s a cool guy. (He bought me a case of beer as a housewarming gift.)

So this school year, when those cute chicks in front of me in class ask each other, “What should we do this weekend?” I expect them to pull out a High Note and start Taking Note.

Otherwise, I will be forced to personally escort them to the Ames Middle School homecoming dance.


Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.