Magic Johnson did it. Michael Jordan did it. Larry Holmes has done it over and over again. Now, I’ll do it.

My short- lived retirement is officially over. You know what that means.

That’s right, you have one more year to hear what some may call the sexist-but-genuinely-funny outcast.

But I’ve undergone some changes during my retirement.

Yes, you will be hearing the same trademarked commentary you’ve been accustomed to.

Icehouse is still the brain stew of choice, the Huskers should rot in a hot place occupied by the fallen angel Lucifer, and what some may call a sexist statement may appear from time to time in my weekly mental spills.

I still want the goal post to fall, the Cyclones to win, fans to have a lot of sex, and masses to eat the anger shoved at them by others.

But I am a kinder, gentler Calek.

I have found love in a big way. Actually, Cupid has raped me.

And if I get my hands on that little punk I’m going to return the favor. That is a promise! In short, I shot and scored.

I will be tying the knot next summer and have already begun thinking about the possibility of a young Calek running the earth, ravishing all who stand in the way. God help you all.

So let’s get right to the punch. It’s football season, which, by the way, is also human mating season.

You have to love it.

The Cyclones are ready to get rip-roaring and rolling. Darren Davis and Todd Bandhauer are ready to lead the charge in a big way.

Oklahoma State will be up to their neck in poo-poo like a dorm toilet after a long night of hardcore drinking.

I mean, this is the year where we go to a bowl game. I can feel it.

The energy on campus is higher than it has ever been. The adrenaline is flowing, and we’re all salivating over the thought of a good tailgate.

I would like to ask all of you to do something a little special at the first game. Everyone can and will be drunk; I understand this fact. But I want to see something special. You know what I’m talking about.

Something crazy. A streaker would be beautiful. Maybe a good riot with OSU fans will be enough. Heck, why don’t we all start a post- game naked riot?

Who’s ever done that, huh? You want national coverage? Start a naked riot and tell me if the media comes knocking at the door.

I’m even more pumped because for the first time in two years, I’ll be sitting in the student section and not the press box.

So this time when the posts are set to come down, I’ll be there leading the charge like a platypus swimming downstream. Get behind me, baby. We have some business to attend to.

My prediction for the game is simple: ISU 42, OSU 10. I believe the defense is there, and the offense is ready to pop some points. McCarney has proven his ability to turn a program around, and it starts this season.

A great coach, a great offense and a much-improved defense equals a bowl game. It also equals a good party and a plethora of lucky nights, but that’s another column. Have fun; I’ll see you there. We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Persia.