Graduation. Didn’t I go through this once already? It’s funny how the same feelings we experience as we prepare to leave high school come flooding back toward the end of our undergraduate careers — but with much greater intensity.

I remember this quotation that was painted on a wall in the Memorial Union Commons, before the commercial artists came and conquered the university’s personal space. It read, “One does not come to college to learn to make a living, but to learn to live a life.” Or something like that. As I reflect on the last four years (has it really been four years?) I am struck by the truth of that statement. So in typical end-of-the-semester spirit, I have decided to devote this column space to an abridged list of what I have learned in college. Here goes:

1. A good conversation is far more fulfilling than a good mash any day. First of all, nothing is more stimulating than really connecting with someone while tossing around ideas. Secondly, much perspective can be gained from conversing with someone different than oneself.

2. Perspective is everything. That little adage about not judging a person until you’ve walked a mile in his or her shoes contains more wisdom than most of us give it credit for. A little tolerance goes a long way. My mom is fond of saying, “Everyone has a story.” (While I was in high school, she squeezed that in between her pet lectures, “Don’t Get Pregnant” and “If the Cops Come, Run”.)

3. Moms know all. I wonder sometimes if there’s some kind of mom microchip that contains all this random knowledge and that somehow gets embedded in their brains once they have a child. I mean, do women instinctively become better suitcase packers once they become moms? And college is the time we learn that we never really got away with anything in high school. Moms always knew what was up, and they always will know which shoes we ought to wear for important occasions.

4. Trust yourself to know what’s good for you. Those who follow their hearts seldom lose their way.

5. Better results can always be obtained by treating people with kindness and respect rather than harsh criticism. This semester, one professor in particular has really shown me the merits of employing a Confuscious-like philosophy when dealing with people. I think compassion is one of the most important qualities a person can develop, and I wish more of our educators would shy away from the “tough love” approach to teaching. By giving people the benefit of the doubt, you open their hearts and instill confidence in them, which in turn leads them to raise their expectations of themselves.

6. Ex-girlfriends suck. I can say that: I am one.

7. The bar will be there tomorrow. There are things more important than partying, and sometimes it’s necessary to prioritize. So skip a night. Chances are you won’t miss much; if you hadn’t noticed, it’s typically the same people having the same conversations at the same overrated joints every weekend.

8. Be gentle and forgiving with yourself. You deserve it.

9. We ought to be living each and every day as if it were our last. Look at last weekend’s tragedy and think to yourself how easy it is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Students like to say they are completely different people now than when they first came to college. From my standpoint, I think I am the same person now that I always was. It’s just that I finally figured out who that person is. And you all helped. College is a time of definition, not destination. We are all just passing through, travelers on our ways to becoming doctors, artists, scientists, uncles, wives, grandparents.

For everyone who has touched my life during our brief stay here, I’d like to end this with an Irish prayer called “The Parting Blessing”: May the road rise to meet you; may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Thanks … for everything.

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Tracy Lucht is a senior in journalism and mass communication from West Des Moines.