Satire: Cy mascot to be redesigned to have a human head

Straight+from+your+nightmares%2C+the+new+Cy+embraces+the+lack+of+mask+requirements+across+Iowa

Straight from your nightmares, the new Cy embraces the lack of mask requirements across Iowa

Alejandro Gomez

Iowa State has announced that the current mascot will be redesigned to have a human head after all members of the mascot squad refuse to wear the head portion of their uniform. 

 

Following the Iowa Board of Regents decision to lift face mask requirements, current Cy the Cardinal performers have coalesced in their personal choice to no longer wear the mascot mask. 

 

“We all have our own reasons and beliefs of why we don’t want to wear the mask anymore,” a spokesperson said for the mascot squad said when asked why the performers no longer intended to wear the full costume.

 

“It’s hard to breathe in that thing, and recirculating our own carbon dioxide that gets trapped in the mask can’t be good for you; not to mention you have to smell your own breath the whole time you’re wearing it,” they continued. 

 

When questioned about the official oral hygiene regimen of the mascot squad, the spokesperson declined to comment.

 

“It’s going to take a bit of work to replace all of the current Cy statues and logos with the updated human head version, but we respect the beliefs of all our students,” a representative of Iowa State’s advisory committee said. “Further, we applaud the mascot squad for standing up for their rights and freedoms. They truly encompass what we hope all Cyclones strive to be.”

 

The human head Cy is intended to be fully implemented at Iowa State by the spring 2021 semester. An inaugural mascot presentation will be held featuring special guest Kim Reynolds.