PAULSON: Bill Simmons should take charge in ‘No Balls Association’

Nick Paulson

GSB. Congress. President. Yep, it’s campaign season. The whole country is caught up in the frenzy, and I am no exception. That is why I have been moved to make this endorsement:

Bill Simmons for Milwaukee Bucks GM.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with “The Sports Guy” from ESPN.com, the columnist has launched an inspired, if somewhat ludicrous, campaign to take over one of the most beleaguered franchises in the NBA.

While a sportswriter running a professional organization might seem beyond crazy, it wouldn’t be the first time. In the 1940’s, Sid Hartman was both a writer for the Minneapolis Daily Times and acting general manager for the Minneapolis Lakers. And as anyone who has ever read one of Hartman’s columns knows, he’s not exactly Albert Einstein. Or Skip Bayless, for that matter.

From what I can tell, Simmons makes sense for three simple reasons.

– Common sense: Something that is sorely lacking among GM’s throughout the league. As a native Minnesotan, I’ve had to sit around and watch GMs from Boston (twice) and Los Angeles pull Kevin McHale’s pants down. (The Clippers, for heaven’s sake. The Clippers. Ahhh.) Sometimes, the Timberwolves GM gives himself a downer (see Joe Smith).

Anyone who reads Simmons’ column can attest that he clearly has sound knowledge of basketball. He has been a staunch supporter of taking quality character guys that succeed in college ahead of “potential” athletes who have an outside shot of making it. It worked in San Antonio to the tune of four NBA titles in eight years. He was telling anyone who would listen before the 2005 draft that Chris Paul (this year’s possible NBA MVP) should go No. 1. You think Milwaukee and Atlanta wish they had listened to him then? Now the Bucks have a chance to redeem itself by handing the reins over to Simmons.

– “Clean Air Restoration Act:” The NBA has developed a bad reputation as a league full of owners and GMs that are concerned with making money more than actually winning. The “No Balls Association” (as Simmons has delightfully coined it) needs some people in charge and aren’t afraid to roll the dice. Look at Mark Cuban in Dallas and, now, Steve Kerr in Phoenix. Not all the moves they have made were the most popular, but they have taken risks that give their teams a chance to win. With a luxurious job at ESPN to fall back on, I don’t think any cheeseheads will have to worry about The Sports Guy being afraid to inject some fresh air into the league.

– Experience: This might be a bit more of a stretch than the other considerations. Kind of like with Hillary, most of Simmons’ experience isn’t with actual GM duties. But he does have the equivalent of an eighth degree black-belt with ESPN.com’s Trade Machine. Don’t believe me? Check out his column from Feb. 20, “Time to put the Trade Machine to work.” Not only are his trade proposals sensible and backed up by solid reasoning, but scroll down to Trade 4A. Look familiar? All the pieces aren’t the same, but Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West did end up in Cleveland, and both Donyell Marshall and Cedric Simmons no longer play in the Buckeye State.

There is a reason the first thing I check on ESPN.com every day is to see if The Sports Guy’s world has been populated by a new column. Not only is his writing clever and satirical in a way I try to emulate, but it’s also informative. He knows what he is talking about, and few of his claims aren’t backed by logical arguments.

After doing some serious research, I feel it is my duty as a sportswriter and someone who cares about professional basketball to stand up and make this endorsement.

It may seem like a long shot, but with the support of concerned NBA fans around the country we can make it happen. Plus, if it gets too bad up there in Milwaukee, the Bucks can always hire Isiah Thomas.