It’s hard to imagine that another school year is almost in the books, but the fast-approaching semester’s end affords everyone with the opportunity to reflect on the year gone by.

That means it’s time to cringe when thinking back to the first semester when your GPA was lower than your BAC (blood alcohol content) on any given Friday night. It also means that it’s time for some end-of-the-year awards.

Sans the red carpets and black ties of most award shows, I give you the first annual Cyclone Awards, which are aimed at recognizing the highs and lows of the past year for Cyclone sports using the very trendy MTV Movie Award categories.

* Best Male — Zach Roberson. The best thing about this 133-pound grappler is that if you saw him in a dark alley, you probably wouldn’t feel too ill at ease. That is, until you found out that the two-time All-American has more than 100 career victories, a fierce attacking style and a national championship under his belt. Then you’d beg him to take your wallet.

* Best Female — Janet Anson. This freshman fueled the Cyclone gymnasts’ rise to national prominence with her solid contributions all season long. She became just the third Cyclone gymnast to be named a first-team All-American and took sixth place in the vault at the national championships.

* Best Performance in a Comedy — The Cyclones looked laughable during a 53-7 loss to Oklahoma, but safety JaMaine Billups was doing anything but snickering. His 14 tackles were a team high, and his 77-yard interception return for a touchdown was the lone beacon of light for Cyclone fans on an afternoon that was darker than an Alkaline Trio album.

* Worst Performance in a Comedy — In the same 53-7 laugher, the Cyclone offensive line brought a whole new meaning to the word jailbreak, giving up five sacks, six other tackles for a loss and paving the way for a dismal 2.8 yards per carry.

Honorable mention: Hiawatha Rutland’s stand-up act at “Dew the Rec.”

* Best Performance in a Drama — John Neal. The walk-on sank two late 3-pointers, sinking Iowa in the process and giving the Cyclones a thrilling 84-76 victory over the Hawkeyes.

Honorable mention: Nick Passolano. The Cyclone 165-pounder pinned Iowa’s Cole Pape to give Iowa State its first dual win over Iowa in 30 matches and send Hilton Coliseum into pandemonium.

* Best Dance Sequence — Iowa State’s three-headed quarterbacking monster of Austin Flynn, Cris Love and Waye Terry. These Baryshnikovs had to be light on their feet as they sidestepped and danced past defenders descending on the backfield faster than drunk people on the gyro stand.

* Best Kiss — Any of the overzealous Kiss Cam participants who decide that a public display of affection in front of 45,814 people just isn’t good enough without tossing in a good amount of tongue and enough heavy petting to get them kicked out of any junior high dance.

* Breakthrough Male — In a tossup between talented newcomers Jason Berryman and Curtis Stinson, Berryman gets the nod. He was the Big 12 Defensive Newcomer of the Year, the team Most Valuable Player and a tackling machine from his defensive end position.

* Best Director — Wayne Morgan. The stoic Cyclone basketball coach guided his team to a 20-win season and an appearance in the National Invitation Tournament semifinals in his first year at the helm. He also did it with class and professionalism, something that was badly needed following a tumultuous offseason for the ISU basketball program.

* Best Costumes — Cyclone golfers. The epitome of business casual, these uniforms say, “Of course I can participate in a college sporting event and still preserve the crease in my Dockers.”

Honorable mention: Football team. Those new white facemasks are sharp, but the overall uniforms make it look as if the Kansas City Chiefs moved to Ames and got much, much worse.

* Career Achievement Award — Andrew Skoglund. The team just won’t be the same without Skoglund — his 7-foot-1 frame, his perfect 1600 SAT score and his 0.9 points per game.

Congratulations to this year’s winners, and good luck to everyone next year. We’ll see you at the after party.