COLUMN: Super Bowl entertainment found only on the field

Andrew Marshall

Houston, we have a problem. The Super Bowl commercials and entertainment that have turned the annual contest into more of an unofficial American holiday than a football game have lost their luster. The broadcast has become boring, annoying and overproduced.

It has gotten to the point where a football game for the ages gets overshadowed by disappointing commercials and over-hyped halftime entertainment. It has gotten to the point where Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson have become more synonymous with Super Bowl XXXVIII than Tom Brady and Adam Vinatieri. It has gotten to the point where more is being said about off-field activities than on-field heroics. It has gotten to the point where everything I enjoyed about the football game was counteracted by something in the game’s production I couldn’t stand.

I enjoyed watching Jake Delhomme come back from a miserable start to make the second half of the game one of the most exciting in Super Bowl history. Delhomme looked like a former World League backup and no-name first-year starter for the first 27 minutes of the contest, but he turned things around with big plays and enthusiasm that lasted all the way until the end of the game.

I wasn’t very pleased to watch Kid Rock turn the American flag into a poncho during the half-time show. While he might have had patriotic intentions, a course in flag etiquette would teach the Detroit rocker that cutting a hole in our nation’s symbol to turn it into a makeshift garment is not the most appropriate use of the Stars and Stripes.

It was great to see Adam Vinatieri shake off two early misses to become the Super Bowl hero yet again. Seeing him kick winning field goals in Super Bowls is getting to be as common as seeing snow in Ames, and he accepted the hero status with class and humility.

I wasn’t as excited to watch Justin Timberlake make good on his lyrical promise to have Janet Jackson naked by the end of his song. It would have been acceptable for J.T. to finish his stirring (but previously recorded) version of “Rock Your Body” by smiling and waving to the crowd. It was not acceptable for him to expose Jackson’s right breast to millions of families watching the prime-time broadcast. Before the stunt, dads across the country only had to worry about explaining the strategy behind squib kicks and zone defenses to their children. Thanks to Justin and Janet, fathers also get to explain why CBS and MTV don’t have to adhere to broadcast decency standards.

I was glad to see that Patriots offensive coordinator Charlie Weis put together a solid offensive game plan on the game’s grandest stage. Despite the fact that he looks eerily similar to Rodney Dangerfield, Weis should get plenty of respect for running the ball against Carolina’s vaunted defensive line.

He should also get a well-overdue look from a number of NFL teams searching for a head coach this offseason.

I wasn’t so impressed at the game plan MTV put together for the Super Bowl’s halftime entertainment. The cable music giant did not live up to its hip-with-the-kids reputation during the halftime show, instead providing a forgettable mix of retread songs and unimaginative presentation. Kid Rock performed songs from his 1998 “Devil Without a Cause” album, an album many college students might remember listening to in high school. Janet Jackson reached all the way back to 1989 for her “Rhythm Nation” performance. Many of us might not have been able to read at the time that song was released. P. Diddy went back to the Puff Daddy era for his song selection. Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” performance was slightly more up to date than the others, but that song was still so last summer. MTV was just a Metallica song and an electric slide performance away from making this the worst and most outdated halftime show in a long time. Fortunately, Janet and Justin’s aforementioned stunt will probably prevent MTV from planning any future Super Bowl entertainment.

I was happy to see the Panthers, a team that is less than 10 years old, make it to the Super Bowl only two seasons removed from going 1-15. It gives hope to every team in the league that success is only a few years away.

I was especially happy to find out that Patriots head coach Bill Belichick decided to wear a windbreaker to the game. Although it wasn’t exactly a three-piece suit (or even a professional looking outfit), it was a vast improvement over the hooded sweatshirt he normally wears that leaves him looking like a 55-year-old hung over college student at an 8 a.m. lecture.

I was disappointed to see that the year’s crop of Super Bowl commercials turned out to be just average. I saw plenty of Mike Ditka giving an in-your-face sales pitch for erectile dysfunction drugs, but what I was really hoping for was Terry Tate, office linebacker.

I was dying to see the first sales rep who forgot to put a cover sheet on his TPS report get form tackled into a cubicle, but it just wasn’t to be this year.

The Super Bowl started off slow and built into one of the most thrilling championship games in recent memory. The lead changes, the intensity and the determination by both teams made it a game to remember. Unfortunately, the unoriginal entertainment and subpar commercials made it a broadcast to forget.