Valentine’s Day week just wouldn’t be the same without a wooing advice column from The Moss Pit.

Two years ago, I introduced my three-step plan to wooing women: Step 1. Always be a jerk. Step 2. Find the biggest stud you can and copy his every move. Step 3. Make sure the tunes are flowin’ in the right direction.

Last year, however, I retracted my previous advice based on personal experiment and declared wooing women to be an impossible task.

So, this Valentine’s Day, I’m going to stick with something I know a little more about — wooing men. No, not because I woo men — at least not on purpose — but because I’m often the prey of a wooer.

So, my lady friends, here is a simple guide to wooing your man this holiday of love:

Step 1. Make your man feel like a man.

One thing women don’t realize about men is our insecurities when it comes to feeling manly.

It burns us up inside every time you flip the channel to “Oprah” or Lifetime Television for Women. Those damn yeast infection commercials are especially painful.

This week, flip over to Sports- Center and just once pretend to understand the humor of Dan Patrick and Kenny Mayne.

Or even better, say something like, “Why don’t you play your roommate in another game of College Football ’99. I love watching you school his ass with your Mad Dog defense.”

Now that would be wooing.

Another way to invoke manliness is by making your man feel smart in one of the five territories of manlihood: sports, tools, cars, directions and beer.

Buy some sort of shelf or something that is considerably easy to assemble and invite him to bring his tools over and put it together. Hand him a tall cool one when he’s finished and say something like, “I could have never done that.”

Manliness bliss.

Step 2. Find the biggest hottie you can and copy her every move.

Sure, this one doesn’t work in wooing women, but I know men dig it. Simply put, originality is overrated.

If your man has an obsession with say, Anne Heche … OK, bad example, Heather Graham, then brush up on your Heatherisms.

Do the “Swingers” thing and copy her line, “So if I wanted to ask a good-looking guy to dance, I could.”

Trust me, you’ll be money.

Try taking the copying thing a step further and show up in roller skates some night, or tell him to start calling you Mercedes (remember “License To Drive?”).

Every man has an obsession with another woman, not because of anything you do or don’t do, but because of the aforementioned manliness thing. The closer we think we are to living out our celebrity fantasies, the more manly we feel.

Step 3. Win.

Everything is a competition with men, including relationships.

Chances are, you are competing against your man’s best friend’s woman, but it could also be your best friend’s man.

Which ever the case, your man is going to feel like a loser if the other man wins.

So you need to find out what the other man is getting for Valentine’s Day and one-up that, preferably in a kinky way.

For example, if your man’s best friend’s woman is cooking him dinner, you could cook him dinner and wear just an apron.

Just remember that your wooing prowess is going be judged on a post-Valentine’s Day scorecard, so don’t be afraid to give that extra 110 percent.

And if these three steps don’t improve your wooing, I suggest you get him drunk. The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his liver.

Good luck ladies.

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Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.