I am often confused at what people want to talk about. I’m not naive. I know that very few students actually enjoy having a civil discussion about the important political issues of the day. I’m even in the business of doing that, and it bores me most of the time. So, I often turn to Quick Es to find out exactly what the hot topics of the day are. The lack of intelligence, time or motivation needed to write a Quick E insures that it will capture the true feelings of my generation.

However, some of the stuff that gets argued about in the hallowed pages of the Daily seems really trivial. Who really cares that I make a freshman in liberal arts and sciences want to smoke crack? More importantly, is there anybody out there who actually thinks the whole English major/engineering major debate is worth even a small iota of our time?

For the first few months of this debate, I was pretty indifferent. I looked at the argument like a mother might look at her mud-caked children when she’s drunk. Sure, she knows something’s not right about the situation, but she really isn’t in the mood to think about it. Then, in the last few days (be it from lack of sleep of excessive consumption of cheap hot dogs), I started to get a might bit peeved about the whole deal.

Who are these people who think writing in a Quick E that says “Cha-Ching” for the fourth day in a row is of public interest to the rest of us? Why don’t they start paying attention to some of their higher priorities, like serving as treasurer of the Central Iowa chapter of the Judge Judy Fan Club?

After this brief period of random curses and brilliant anger, I sat down and thought about the whole mess. The real issue here was actually not about who’s making more money but about who was happy. Having procured a small chunk of significance from an otherwise pointless exchange, I felt obligated to expound.

You see, when your parents told you a long time ago that it doesn’t really matter how much money you make as long as you are happy, they were lying to you. What they said was true; they just didn’t believe it themselves. Go ahead, after four years of college, try to tell ma and pa that you feel you’d be happiest if you lived at home for three or four years before you tour Europe to “find yourself.” I’ve never tried it myself, but I can guarantee that it will not fly.

But as we all know, we can’t live as parental puppets all our lives. We have to do as they say and do as they do. Sure, they’re usually right and actually do know what’s “best” for us, but if we don’t learn how to live life for ourselves, how are we going to be able to harass our own children?

With that point under our belts, who among English majors and engineering majors is probably doing what makes them happy?

Ever hear English majors bitch about how much they hate their classes? Probably not, because their classes are fun. I’ve never had an English class that wasn’t at least interesting. English majors are doing something that makes them happy.

Ever hear an engineering major not bitch about his classes? If so, you’re an anomaly. Engineering majors always make a point to tell everyone, including the janitor that cleans their john, how difficult their classes are and how much they hate them. I’ve always wondered why they keep taking them if they hate them so much.

Don’t give me any lines about sacrifice and reaping the rewards later because the reason you’re learning how to solve differential equations is when you get a job, you’ll have to know how to do it. Being an engineer entails using all the crap you learned that normal humans would just jettison to make room for the Tuesday night prime-time lineup.

And why are engineering majors lining up this long life of going to math class every day from nine to five? Apparently, for most of them, because they want lots of money. How much fun could money be when you’re so boring you don’t know what to spend it on?

To those future engineers who are actually looking forward to anything about their careers besides their starting salaries, I commend you for following your heart.

That’s the only reason I typically have more respect for an English major than an engineering major. The whole concept of a major in English is a little laughable, but at least I know that they’re choosing their major based on what they really want to do. Most of them know they’re not going to make a lot of money, but they’re going to give it a shot anyway.

Because, in the end, it’s all what makes you smile. Life is too short to spend 40 years wishing you were someplace else from Monday to Friday.

If you’re an engineer and that’s what you really want to do, go for it. If you’re an engineer whose favorite extracurricular activity is citing average salaries and placement percentages, shut the hell up, get a life, change your major to liberal arts and start playing the lottery. Believe me, you’ll thank me in the long run.

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David Roepke is a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Aurora.