In a couple months, I will be Uncle Moss Pit. As exciting as it will be to have my own little niece or nephew, I am a bit concerned about the world it will grow up in.

I could care less about where society stands on a political or financial level. It is the entertainment world I am worried about.

Sometimes I like to pretend I was a street kid, born and raised by tough guy paradigms. But I wasn’t.

I was fed my Nickelodeon with my “Silver Spoons.” Alex P. Keaton was an icon, and B.A. was a rebel.

But kids growing up now don’t have the kind of “nice” entertainment we had. Music, movies, television, video games, toys, food … everything has been warped by society’s declining sensitivity.

If you don’t believe me, think about this:

We had Bozo The Clown; they have the Insane Clown Posse.

We had “The Wonder Years”; they have Marilyn Manson (who was rumored for a while to be Kevin’s best friend on the show.)

We had Micro Machines; they have Rage Against The Machine.

We had Mr. T; they have Master P.

We had Hulk Hogan the hero; they have Hulk Hogan of the New World Order.

We had Atari; they have Atari Teenage Riot.

We had O.J. running through airports; they have O.J. driving on freeways.

We had Celebrity Squares; they have “Celebrity Death Match.”

We had Pop Rocks; they have rock cocaine.

We had “Puff the Magic Dragon”; they have Puffy the Bad Boy rapper.

We had Leonardo DiCaprio, the annoying adopted kid on “Growing Pains”; they have Leonardo DiCaprio, the annoying pain in the ass who ditched the Oscars because he wasn’t nominated.

We had Barbie; they have “Barbie Girl,” quite possibly the worst song of all time.

We had the Junk Yard Dog; they have Snoop Dog.

We had candy; they have “Sex and Candy,” quite possibly the most overplayed song of all time.

And finally, we had Vanilla Ice having a roni; they have Vanilla Ice having a meltdown.

You get the point.

Raising me in this world is a riot, but would I want to raise a kid in it?

The only way I could really feel comfortable would be if my kid rode a Big Wheel, ate Laffy Taffy, listened to “Thriller,” watched “The Dukes of Hazard” and played Uno.

I get a lot of remarks about being stuck in the ’80s, and I take each one as a compliment.

Entertainment was innocent then. Probably more innocent than it will ever be again.

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Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.