Hooray for house parties

Corey Moss

Leaves are turning color, and bars with names like Good Times Saloon, the Road Hog, Ferg’s, Slinky’s and Sloppy’s are getting better business than the usual Welch favorites.

Ahh yeah, house party season has arrived.

I remember the first time I heard someone mention their house party. The only image my mind could conjure up was Kid ‘N’ Play bustin’ rhymes and Kid bustin’ his jimmy-thing right before he’s about to do that chick from “Facts of Life.”

Well, I soon learned, as other G.D.I.s will, that a house party at Iowa State has little to do with “House Party” the movie.

It’s a bit misleading, you see, because house parties are not actually held at houses. Instead, a fraternity or sorority rents out a bar in a nearby small town.

They say this is to “get a break from Ames,” but really it is so minors can join in the festivities without fearing the evil Ames P.D.

House parties usually last about four hours, with the first reserved for peeing (that 40-minute bus-ride can be wicked) and the last reserved for dragging that passed-out guy in the corner back on the bus.

This leaves about two hours for dancing, which is usually more like a game to see who can go the longest without slipping on the two inches of muddy beer goop that has blanketed the floor.

The best thing about house parties is their themes.

Organizers come up with a theme by asking themselves, “What is something we can make everyone buy that they will never wear again and will probably not want to after it’s covered in muddy beer goop?”

Common themes are Army, cowboy, doctor and disco.

Some houses are more creative. I once attend a Pez Party in which everyone dressed like their favorite Pez dispenser and even gave out candy.

A few nights ago I went to a Country Club theme party. The girls wore little white tennis skirts, and the guys wore khakis and sweaters around their necks. I thought about asking the guys why they didn’t dress up, but I kept my mouth shut.

The night before I was at non-theme party where, for fun, I decided to ask people what the theme was. One guy answered, “Beer.”

I laughed at first, but it soon hit me that Beer really could make a good house party theme. You could dress like Sam Adams or wear a beaver costume and be Woodchuck. You could go as a Red Dog or team up with your date and be Two Dogs.

So this diarrhea of creativity I was having kept up for the rest of the weekend, and I came up with several original house party themes:

If Beer is too limiting, why not broaden the theme to Alcohol. You could dress like a pirate and be Captain Morgan or cover yourself in sand and be Sex on the Beach.

Speaking of beach, why not add some spunk to the everyday Beach house party and make it a Topless Beach party. Or go the gory route and have an Omaha Beach party.

It’s a good idea to create a theme around a group of people who everyone can associate with. Us city kids know how hard it is to go cowboy for night.

How about a T Galaxy house party? Everyone could wear baggy jeans and wallet chains and even bring skateboards. It could be quite entertaining to see how skateboards handle on muddy beer goop.

Or have an Ames P.D. house party (I’m sure a few of us can relate to them). You could wear all black and walk around all night making sure no one has any fun.

This would give you a chance to finally use that police badge sticker the cops gave you while they were writing you that first public intoxication ticket.

The last and most obvious theme I came up with was Vanilla Ice.

I know I’m not the only one dying to pull out their spray-painted jeans and American flag leather jacket.

And shaved eyebrows — they’re coming back, baby.


Corey Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. He is the Arts & Entertainment editor of the Daily.