Something peculiar happens about four months after the semester starts: It ends.

A revelation? I think not, but historically significant nonetheless. Just like clockwork, the fall 1995 semester has nearly come to pass. That’s good news for some — bad for others — but in any case, it’s the reality of the time.

And would the semester be complete without a little reflection? Hardly. The fall of 1995 has been a unique few months here at this “premier land-grant institution,” as a wise university president once told me, so review in light of looming finals is entirely appropriate.

From start to finish, then, here goes:

* * *

*Upon returning to Ames from summers abroad, summers of work, summers of fun and probably a few summers of illegal activity, ISU students were greeted by a sad announcement. Reid Crawford, former vice president for external affairs had decided to leave his lifetime home for a similar position at the university of Maryland.

“Change is good,” Crawford said, alluding that ISU would be better off without him and Maryland will be better off with him.

The departure of Crawford, nearly the highest rung on the athletic department ladder, signaled possibly the last leg of the department’s transformation.

*As if the Big Earl’s adventure on Duff wasn’t enough sexually oriented entertainment for this small Midwestern cow town, someone, somewhere, suggested that Campustown could use juice bar-style drama in late August.

The proposal eventually died for lack of any real confirmation, but the stage was set for months of city zoning debate and students up in arms about bring exotic dancing into their own backyard.

*Also in late August, athletic department officials announced that the department had done a complete financial turnaround from last year’s dismal season on the books. As if breaking even wasn’t enough, Athletic Director Gene Smith said his department had nearly a $750,000 surplus.

Must have auctioned off a few pair of last year’s yellow Cyclone puke pants from the 1911 era.

*As campus life turned to September, the climate made a Death Valley-type shift. Temperatures went through the roof. And, well … it was hot. Damn hot. So hot in fact, Helser Hall residents circulated a petition demanding air conditioning. I think they got an extra box fan.

*While students were busy trying to keep cool, Vice President for Student Affairs Tom Thielen was coming up with some cool cash. A Thielen-initiated program was established to offer student leaders cash incentives for extra-curricular activities.

The details haven’t yet been all worked out, but leadership opportunities may soon be more economically feasible for working students.

*In the spirit of the athletic department’s resignation theme of the 1990s, longtime head baseball coach Bobby Randall resigned Sept. 9 to become coach at the university of Kansas. In 11 years Randall complied a 309-311 record at ISU with a shoestring budget.

*University officials were disappointed when enrollment figures were released in mid-September. While the University of Iowa and Northern Iowa posted modest gains, ISU fell from 24,728 students in 1994 to 24,431 in 1995.

*Shortly after the university announced it could potentially be awarding fewer degrees, officials were reportedly trying to take back a degree already awarded. The university had charged Judith Graham with plagiarizing parts of her 1989 dissertation.

Because the world of academic disciplinary procedures is more confidential than Bill Clinton’s breakfast menu, the hearing’s outcome is unknown.

*Every semester needs a funding cutbacks story, and this time around it was Cy-Ride’s turn. With the federal budget crunch hitting the Ames bus system especially hard, students must decide whether to cough up more subsidy money or face possible cutbacks in services.

The debate continues. What’s up in the air is the future of Cy-Ride’s Moonlight Express, or weekend drunk bus.

*On a more positive note, students will soon have a juiced-up Memorial Union to boast of. Union officials released plans early in the semester for major renovations of the Union’s food court and expanded office space for student organizations.

The Veishea office may even be moved out of the broom closet.

*Students found it easier this semester to access their academic and billing information through the university. An experimental kiosk system with some super-cool high-tech buttons and gadgets was successfully implemented.

*Perhaps the most eye-opening event of the semester was the alcohol-related death of a University of Iowa fraternity pledge. After a night of binge drinking, Matthew Garofalo, a member of Iowa’s Lambda Chi Alpha chapter, drowned in his own vomit. Iowa officials later imposed a moratorium on alcohol at all greek social events.

Garofalo’s death, though not entirely just a greek problem, heightened the push for stricter greek alcohol policies here. Just last week, the greek system’s governing bodies said individuals would only be allowed to turn in six cans of beer at parties, among other regulations.

*O.J. ‘Nuff said.

*After nearly a year in captivity in Colombia, ISU alumnus Tom Hargrove was released Aug. 22. In early October, Hargrove gave an exclusive account of his horrific plight to stay alive in deplorable conditions to the Iowa State Daily.

*Like so many a semester gone by, delivered pizza was a big nutritional factor for most ISU students this semester. But we had a new twist these past few months: Nasty ad wars.

Domino’s and other Ames pizza joints, specifically Home Team, took aim with attacks in the Daily that included slogans such as “We’re not Home Team” from Domino’s, and “Home Team ‘isn’t a huge national chain serving bland, generic pizzas at over-inflated prices.'”

*With all the dredging — or whatever the hell they were doing — at Lake LaVerne this semester, students were deprived for a time of ISU’s favorite mascots, Lady Elaine and Sir Lancelot. And while the lake was being renovated, officials brought two new swans to Cyclone Country.

My question is: Really, what happened to the abandoned swans? As college students, we can handle the truth. Have they gone to a far better place in swan heaven, or were they given a room at the Knoll as reward for their years of service to the university?

*The best news of the semester actually came from the state Board of Regents. At their October meeting, the Regents voted in the smallest tuition hike in some 14 years at just 3.5 percent.

*While Dan McCarney & Co. were working toward a turnaround in Cyclone Stadium, the university was hoping to entice more people to attend pregame tailgate festivities. But the problem was in the bait: beer. A beer garden, called Cydlines, was set up outside of the stadium for those of age.

In light of past university policies discouraging alcohol consumption, university officials found themselves debating the legitimacy of selling beer on school property. Cydlines, however, apparently weathered the storm.

*In late October, ISU’s Sigma Nu chapter announced it would become the third dry house on campus beginning next semester. Chapter officials said the decision came after its national organization had suspended it for violations of alcohol policies. The shift represents an increasingly popular trend among fraternities.

*On the other end of the alcohol spectrum, the largest keg party this side of the universe was broken up by local law enforcement officials in October. Four students from Wallace Hall allegedly organized a 29-keg party at a rural Ames location.

At the time, Chuck Connors, manager of The Keg Shop, said it would take between 400 and 500 people to consumer that much beer. How were officials alerted? They picked up a flyer on campus.

*The weather is normally unpredictable and impossible to control. The only refuge is often the shelter of the indoors, but this semester ISU proved that even a roof over your head may not be sufficient protection from the elements, as music students can attest first-hand to.

A bum roof forced students with classes in Music Hall to wear raincoats to class one fine October day. Don’t worry though, repairs are scheduled to begin first thing come spring.

*This fall ISU celebrated its famed alumnus Carrie Chapman Catt by dedicating the former Old Botany Hall in her name. The dedication climaxed a week of programming and dialogue about the noted women’s suffragist.

Allegations that Catt made racist and xenophobic remarks during her crusade for gender equality, however, later surfaced, marring Catt’s image.

*Instead of honking out the National Anthem on a chilly early November afternoon, the Iowa State Marching Band was dodging air rifle shots and water balloons as band members walked by Friley Hall after practice.

About the incident, one band member said: “It’s really brainless.”

Another added: “It’s not very nice.”

Can’t we all just get along?

*Few things will get a government agency — like a university — in more of an uproar than the hint of cuts. Such was the case when Board of Regents President Marvin Pomerantz announced the Regents had hired a firm to review the progress of a 1989 audit that included a recommendation to eliminate ISU’s journalism department.

But in a November presentation to the ISU Faculty Senate, Pomerantz assured ISU staff members that “downsizing is not in Iowa State’s future.” That remains to be seen.

*As the winds began coming from the north, concern for ISU’s famed tailless squirrel was heightened. But not to worry, experts assure that Stubby will make it through the long winter ahead, barring an unfortunate run-in with one of those university snow dusters.

*Last month, ISU became a two-newspaper faculty. Both the Daily and the Ames Tribune began printing publications targeted at university staff members. Both papers are called University Times.

The Daily is also being sued by Partnership Press, Inc., the parent company of the Tribune for violations of Iowa open meetings and open records laws. Oh, the joys of the newspaper business.

*In an attempt to reap the federal benefits of being a city with more than 50,000 residents, Ames city officials initiated a special census to demonstrate the city’s growth since the 1990 regular census. Despite a valiant effort, the city fell about 1,500 people short. Should have cooked the books.

*Recent sexual abuse charges against two ISU athletes have brought to the forefront the university’s athletic disciplinary polices. Kenny Pratt, a basketball player, was dismissed from the team after being accused of sexual abuse. The charges were later dropped and he was reinstated.

Alfonso Cruz remains suspended from the wrestling team after being charged with sexual abuse over Thanksgiving break. The ISU Athletic Council plans to debate a uniform policy in February.

*This November marked the 10th anniversary of the 1985 crash of a university-owned plane that killed all seven passengers including six associated with the women’s cross country team. In recognition, the university moved a memorial from Veenker Golf Course, to ISU’s new cross country course, which hosted the NCAA National Cross Country Meet.

*Iowa State has been without a student radio station since a dispute with the Federal Communications Commission over wattage and frequency forced KUSR off the air Nov. 1. Station officials said late last month they won’t be back on the air until next semester.

Get the feeling it hasn’t been an altogether positive semester for the campus media?

*On a heart-warming note, ISU horticulture students and staff sacrificed part of their Thanksgiving breaks to help plant trees in Oklahoma City as a memorial to those who died in the worst terrorist attack ever on U.S. soil.

The students helped plant 150 little leaf Linden trees and 19 Crabapple trees on the Oklahoma Capitol Building grounds. One-hundred and fifty adults and 19 children were killed in the federal building bombing last spring.

*Parks Library computers are getting dumber and dumber. Twice this semester someone — possibly a techno-nerd on a tight budget — has broken into the library and stolen computer memory chips. Hey, stop it.

*One of the hottest controversies on college campuses nationwide made its way to Ames this semester. Campus Book Store officials are crying foul with the special amenities the University Bookstore is afforded as a part of the university system, chiefly allowing students to charge purchases to their monthly university bills.

The Regents have taken up the issue, and should an unfavorable ruling be handed down, Campus Book Store has promised a — surprise, surprise — lawsuit.

*The university was just a heartbeat away from losing the second of four administrators that report directly to ISU President Martin Jischke. A week ago, University of Nebraska officials announced that ISU Provost John Kozak was not chosen as chancellor of the Lincoln campus. Kozak was one of three finalists for the position.

*Last spring — with five minor sports on the budget ax chopping block — the Government of the Student Body OK’d a bailout, upping student fees over the ensuing two semesters. In the face of declining GSB revenues and an athletic department surplus, however, senators decided a more gradual bailout was prudent.

Vice President for Business and Finance Warren Madden said that was acceptable last week.

*The Union renovations have not gone off without controversy. All semester, GSB and Union officials have debated the fate of the Browsing Library and Chapel. Both sides have invoked history and practicality to boost their claims. And in the end, tradition won.

The Union Board of Directors voted last Thursday to keep the Browsing Library and Chapel as is.

*And last, but not least by any means, is the man who’s commanded more newsprint in central Iowa than the lifetime list of Johnny Carson bad jokes. ISU tailback Troy Davis did not win the Heisman over the weekend. As it turns out, he was fifth among five finalists.

But even the most cynical of Cyclone fans has to admit just getting to New York City as a Heisman candidate is quite an accomplishment for anyone, let alone a player from Iowa State. And for a player that saw more action in the first game this year than he did all of last season, it’s even more amazing.

* * *

So there it is. A little of this, a lot of that. There’s plenty of good news, plenty of bad news and plenty of junk that will make little difference when the spring semester hits. But regardless, fall semester 1995 is fast becoming an inkblot in the history books.

Tune in next January for more of the same.