I want to stimulate you. Your minds, at least.

Lately my classes have not been doing a good job of keeping my mind going, and maybe you are in the same situation, so I am going to help us all use our minds a little bit more today.

Here is a big list of lots of things to think about and talk about throughout the day when things are sort of on the dull side. Meet someone new and find out what they have to say. At least now you can’t say there is nothing to talk about! Here we go:

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what one thing would you want to have there? Did you know there is orange juice in Mountain Dew? Why do radio announcers sometimes say “See you later?” Why are turtles called turtles? Why do people say “like”? Why do we drive on the right side of the road? Do you know why the sky is blue? Why do clocks go clockwise instead of counter-clockwise? Exactly what are television newscasters talking about among themselves when they go into or out of breaks?

Why do people wear blue eye shadow? Why do people intentionally move to Iowa? Do you think other people can read your mind? Why don’t more people sing out loud? What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever spent taking a shower? Why do people who talk the most have the least amount of intelligent things to say? How long can you stand on your head?

Why do people call your answering machines and never leave messages? How many pairs of shoes do you own? When it comes to holidays and fruit, why do pumpkins get all the glory? Why do people not say what is on their minds after they say they have something to say? Why do people ask you to taste things after they tell you it tastes bad? Why do you have to say “Hello?” when you pick up the phone?

How does your hair know when to stop growing? Does snot have dead brain cells in it? Why do people always ask you the questions you don’t have the answers to? Have you ever walked passed someone on campus who talks to themselves? Have you ever found someone who looks almost exactly like yourself? Why do people say “vertically challenged” when they really mean “short?”

Why do we have the point system in the food service sack meal program? How many famous people have you had the chance to talk to? How come if you say “I could care less” or “I couldn’t care less” they mean the same thing? If you could be a candy bar, which one would you be and why? Have you ever done cartwheels naked?

Why do teachers act like their classes are the only ones in the world that matter? Why are those smiley-faced stickers always yellow? Why do most people only use one strap on their backpack? And why is it geeky to use two? Why do people wear shorts when it is cold outside? Have you ever been to a Turkish wedding?

Who decided women have to shave their legs? Why do old men pull their socks up to their knees? Have you ever seen someone without any eyebrows? How many marshmallows can you fit in your mouth at the same time? What’s your favorite color of Crayola crayons? Do you like the new blue M&Ms? Why are the lines on notebook paper always blue?

Why are blue jeans blue? Why do people tattoo places they never show you? Why do people say “sorry” when it’s not their fault? What’s the difference between soda and pop? Why do women wear “perfume” and men wear “cologne?” If you could be a cartoon character, who would you be? Do you lick the stuff out of an Oreo before eating the cookie part?

Why do people have tinted contact lenses? Why does Gak dry up so fast? Have you ever swapped a chewed piece of gum with someone? Why do people name their cars? When you are crossing the street, why do cars suddenly seem to speed up? Have you ever walked through a drive-thru? Do you wear matching underwear? Where did you go the last time you left Ames?

Are the marshmallows in Lucky Charms really marshmallows? Are Smurfs really three apples high? Who decided that green means go and red means stop? How long can you go without thinking? Which side of the bed do you wake up on? What’s the last word you have looked up in the dictionary? How many days old are you? Does the grass say “ouch” when we step on it? Which shoe do you put on first? Why are you reading this column?

OK, OK that about does it, so now be sure to find out what the people around you think about! Thanks to all the awesome people who helped come up with some interesting questions.

---

Aaron Barstow is a junior in journalism who thinks you’re cool.